My Secret Weapon...

It was very cold last night... almost freezing (egads cold!) but for some reason that cold made the world seem crisp and clear this morning. The sun is now painting my world a golden glow and has me waxing poetic (as long as it's not waxing the kitchen floor!)

A friend told me yesterday, that she was cleaning her refrigerator. I was aghast!

She said... that things were beginning to "grow."

Stop I shouted! Did she not know? I had to save her but was I in time?

Silly girl, I explained, she should never look closely at what lives in a refrigerator... IF God wanted that inspection He'd have given refrigerators glass doors!

But it is starting to smell she said... I assured her that that would change. Soon she wouldn't notice it at all as her nose became accustomed to the stench.

It's a great place to store your valuable I explained to her, no thief will ever think of looking in the fridge, and if they do, they will never get past the smell.

My own refrigerator is a study in new life forms... talk about science fiction. Forget the final frontier of outer space just look inside. I keep my most important food items on the door, that way I can grab what I need and quickly slam it again to contain the "critters." Sometimes when the locals are particularly rambunctious I have a chair handy to force them back.

Hmmmmm... maybe I should talk to Hollywood.

Eventually the critters do take over and become much to expensive to feed, then I get the garden hose, bleach and mop. Takes only a moment and things are under control again.

Most people, when they hear of my refrigerator program, are concerned about health issues... never fear, my immune system has been bolstered by refrigerator super powers. If I can survive my refrigerator, I can survive anything!

Maybe I should talk with the government. My refrigerator program could create a race of super people that no bio terrorists could ever defeat!

Hey....

Gotta go... I need to call Washington!