A Moment In Time

Today is Remembrance Day. Today I experienced a moment in time.

I was walking in the open space beneath the multi-story metal towers which carry electricity to my city. This corridor of green crisscrossed the city, creating a narrow strip of natural wooded area winding through concrete and asphalt. The day was beautiful... sunny, warm and filled with life. I stripped down to just a thin sweater with my jacket tied around my waist. The birds were tweeting (none with cell phones) and the air was sweet. 

Few people were around and the morning sun appeared to shimmer and dance over a still vibrant, green grass. The scent of leaves, freshly fallen, filled the air with this delightful autumnal fragrance. 

A loud noise resonated above my head, the sound caught in the canyon of trees and magnified. I looked up to see an incredible sight... a World War II airplane, a large grey colored WWII bomber plane. It was flying low, light reflecting off it's nose windows, and slowly crossing my horizon. 

I had a moment in time and imagined it was 70 plus years ago. I was in France or England and war was all around me. I thought how could something as beautiful as this plane be both a harbinger of death and a savior of the world as well. The fly over only lasted a few moments and as the sound faded so did the plane, growing smaller and smaller as it passed. 

I glanced at my watch and it was almost 11 am... that moment in time of such great significance to history. A time and a date set aside to remember those terrible wars of the past. I said a silent prayer for those who provided me with this moment, for all those who had to courage to protect my world and indirectly to protect me. Thank you I whispered to those unknowns, thank you. 

A Spirit Freed

I had a beautiful moment today and just had the need to share.
  

Today I scattered the ashes of my beloved brother Brian. He actually passed some time ago but my family could not come to terms with where his ashes should go. One day last fall my sister knocked on my door and said "here he can stay with you" and left his ashes with me... and he did stay... while I tried to figure out how to lay him to rest.
 

Today a friend took me to a lovely park in the small community called Lowville which is north of where I live on Lake Ontario. There were few people about and it was cold and grey to start but the sun eventually shone through... there was a large rushing stream, I think Bronte Creek, which wove through the park and lots of forest trails to walk.
 

We walked a long way, deep into the woods but alongside the water and I found the perfect place. Below a noisy set of rapids was a large quiet pool. Steep canyon walls rose on the far side which were draped with maples, evergreens and other trees, many of which had begun the fall transformation. I walked to the edge of the quiet pool and slowly scattered his ashes into the waters. My brother had always been an outdoor person and his passion in life was fishing. At that moment a large fish jumped from the water and splashed it's way upstream.
 

My friend and I were both startled at the fish and thrilled to see something as wild and free as this creature. I looked back to where his ashes settled into the water to watch as some floated out into the stream and were swept away. Some did settle to the edge of the pool and a small school of minnows appeared and swam over the spot.
 

It was then we noticed the footprints in the mud of the stream, probably there all along but it was only then we saw them. Leading from the spot in the water where the scattered ashes settled, they led out into the deeper waters. The sun chose to shine in full force at that moment and the tree we stood under suddenly rained leaves. There was no breeze but the leaves fell in a golden shower on us. My thought was that my brother's spirit was now free and that he was telling me of his joy. My friend said it was the most spiritual moment she ever experienced and I had to agree. I had been terribly sad, reliving my pain at his loss and now I was filled with a wonderful joy.
 

I truly believe in something after death... not necessarily religious but something... I now know that to be true... for I believe our spirit is a forever thing and my sadness over the loss of a loved brother left me completely. He was free to move on and with that I too was freed to move on with life. Goodbye my dear brother... may your journey in this new life be filled with joy.

My Happy Birthday

I am sitting here thinking. I know what you are thinking... that my thinking is something to think about.

Well a milestone approaches which inspires all this thought. A milestone that isn't metric with no u-turns allowed.

On April 1st it's my birthday. Please bring all rocking chairs to an upright position.

I have been looking back on my life... and... have decided to forgo kicking the bucket for a while longer.

Oh sure I find myself pleasantly surprised that I made it this far. Who would have known. I am grateful too for I've had one of a kind opportunities and life experiences. All unique to me... remember the time I was bitten by that black widow spider... remember when the car crashed... remember when I was bucked off my horse to land face first in the mud... yes remember all those times when I was given second chances.

All part of the journey that made up my life to date. I say to date because I'm not finished. There are more spiders (get out the spray), more cars and many more horses with my name on them and a few more things besides.

I've met people on this life journey, good and bad, who enhanced my life. People I've both loved and hated and who both loved and hated me. 

I've met many animals which gave me great joy and mountains of manure. I've met many places up close and personal, places I escaped from... or too.

I can only thank God, as I believe God to be, for the wonders of my life. I've done some deep thinking about spirituality, about what this life is all about and with this thinking (I used a lot of aspirin) I formed a belief that works for me. I don't ask anyone to believe as I do... yet... wait for the book to come out first.

I've let organized religion slowly fade from my life, learning the lessons from it that I was meant to learn but moving on. I deeply believe in God but as a universal entity, for us all in every form we take, whether our teachings are Judisim, Christianity, Muslim, Buddism, Hinduism or Born Again Holy Rollers. We are all members of this universal world. That is my belief... film at eleven.

This change in thinking guided me through the loss of two special men in my life. Each had something to contribute to who I am now and with the passing of each, this new philosphy eased my sense of loss.

I also look back on the other people who came and went throughout my life. Family, friends, co-workers... each giving me something special, even if that was only indigestion. Some merely passed through and some stayed. I am so humbled to have been given such love and friendship. Please don't send a bill.

I have been blessed with an unconventional life, given the opportunity to follow dreams and not be a product of conformity. I am blessed again with the new phase about to begin. I am entering a time of wonderful creativity with a new, incredible world opening before me. I'm so glad I have a credit card to pave the way!

I still find life exciting, filled with wonder at new things. I am sad too that we (referring to mankind) haven't taken care of this wonderful place and sadder still that there is nothing I can do to change this except with my small steps. Surely someone can invent a larger Swiffer to clean up the world's mess.

I have often wondered at what my grandmother (Gram) saw in her lifetime and even what my parents saw in theirs and wonder if they went through the same thought process as I am doing now. Were the kids of yesterday as bad as the kids of today? Was the music just as loud? Did they get up as many times in the night to use the bathroom?

All this has made me appreciate even more the little things that I see. Things like the array of color in the produce department at the grocery store or the way the sunlight reflects on the lake. Like the muffled softness of a snow storm or the sweet melody of a Robin's song. Things like the Rollback sales at Walmart. The more the world advances, the more I feel the simpler world around me.

I have always had special abilities to commune with the natural world (and I'm not even a nudist.) A special awareness of nature, of plants and especially animals. I have always had a connection with the world beyond what we see as reality. These are special gifts from the universe but seen only as burdens at first. It took time to learn their value and I guess if you think about it, all of XX years. Obviously I was gifted but not in the gifted class.

So why all this thought and at this moment? Am I regretting times which have passed or fearing times to come? I don't think so... I am simply looking a my life as if it were a book, thumbing through the different chapters, re-reading the story that is me and appreciating the fact that it is not science fiction.

I simply wanted to thank the universe for the blessing... of being me. 

I would also like to celebrate my birthday with all who have made my life what it is... thank you and happy birthday to all! Your gift is in the mail.