The Canadian Way, Eh!

Want to laugh... or cry about government? Canadians will cry, everyone else... will laugh.

The Canadian government has officially decided to stop delivering mail. Yes that is correct, you heard right (or rather read right.) If you want your mail you will have to go get it.

By now I'm sure the bulk mail people have picked themselves up off their many floors and the disposal people have ordered extra large trash bins for the post offices and the Internet people have finished the champagne but for the average person it means you must now make that extra effort to get your bills cause nobody writes letters these days.

How nice to be forced to travel to get your mail. Such a thrill to fight traffic and pay for Canadian gas which averages about $5.20 a US gallon. For me it's a bus trip and a cost of $7 bucks to do so. Do I really want those bills that much? I must give this some thought... hmmmmm how can I spin this so when those collectors call and I can still say it's in the mail? Can I deduct the cost of travel from the bill?

Of course in these rather hard times and high unemployment rates, the fact that 8,000 postal employees just delivered their own pink slips hasn't fazed the government at all. They (the government) will be saving money on the postal service BUT since jobs are few these days, those savings will increase social services demand by 8,000. It is after all, a numbers game.

On paper the government looks good but then we all know that most governments are better on paper than in real life. Here is a thought. Maybe the government should invest in a public relations and marketing service. Maybe they could hire Rob Ford as a consultant or even a spokesperson since he single-handedly put Toronto on the map. I don't think there is a place on this planet that hasn't heard of the city by the lake, thanks to Mr. Ford.

Maybe too, the government might consider Crack and Booze as a way of improving job performance and since the Canadian government is so rocked with scandal these days, maybe... just maybe... a TV series could be crafted from it all. Reality TV Canadian style eh!

Canadians are so numbed by government intruding in their lives that this new change will hardly be noticed. Maybe the government actually has stock in cable... that would explain all these changes. Hmmmmmm I do believe that there are overseas orders going in, God forbid we send business to a Canadian plant,  for Canadian logo-ed government suits with extra large pockets and for smaller faux beaver hats to fit small Canadian heads.

Yet with all adversity there comes opportunity and opportunities abound with this government decision.

Unemployed workers could start computer security companies since everyone will be forced to online banking. Getting a statement from the bank is difficult enough and not often timely with the present system... but then whose fault will it be if you discover your account was emptied weeks after it happened, all because you didn't pick up your mail. Banks could seriously increase revenue with fees for new improved notices to this effect.

Maybe all this will drive up cyber crime as the unemployed become more creative in their job searches. Canadians are nothing if not creative... we did after all think to combine beer and hockey with police camera surveillance of all roads outside stadiums.

Maybe those same unemployed postal carriers could form a new company called Post Eh! Patterned after Fed-Ex/UPS and actually deliver mail to a person's door!!!! What a concept! Oh, wait a minute... we have that now... or had that.

But then some government official would say that too much money was being made from this service and find ways to tax it. Oh look... a new delivery tax on letters! Hey don't we have that now? Did I mention that the cost to mail a local letter will go to almost $1 buck?

Enlightened government would suggest that too much was being spent on salaries and suggest ways to cut the work force using drones instead. Imagine little hovering devices outside your doors and windows... delivering all those flyers, toss newspapers, pizza coupons... and maybe taking a picture or two as they do.

How Canadian! Multi-tasking... keeping the watchful eye of Big Beaver where it needs to be, peeking in your bedroom window. How Canadian to make money by doing so.

Too bad Canadian ingenuity can't invent a drone to replace government officials... but I'm sure it would only give them more time for holidays at our expense. After all don't we have a treaty or something to supply Cuba with escapees from winter?

It's the Canadian way Eh!